Dating Sans Arduousness: Safe Sex and Condoms


Safe sex and condoms. This conversation happens a scary amount of times!

I am all about safe sex. Sadly, some people missed the entire point sex ED class. Funny enough, I have not participated in any sex education classes. The whole concept of safe sex is not that hard. No degree in biology or anatomy required. At least four of my friends had unplanned teen pregnancies. That is as much “educating” I needed for me to increase my efforts of staying safe.

At a certain age getting STD’s in most cases, quite simply put, is terrible adulting.

Most of us have probably been in the “but can’t we just one time”, “does it really matter?, “but it doesn’t feel the same”, “but I am not seeing anyone else”, but, but, but. My all time favorite is, ” but I have test papers to show I am safe. They are months old though.”

Whaaaa? USE A CONDOM! You only have one vagina and there is no replacement.

Whatever the case, this is a line I suggest. Voice with sincerity in your variation of words…

” I would really love the feeling of having you inside me without a condom. You have no idea how wet that thought makes me. I respect my body and my health so much that I don’t take chances of ruining that for momentary pleasure. It doesn’t matter how good it feels in the moment I am placing myself at risk. Someday I might want children and STD’s can rob me of that. Gambling with the thought I might be an exception of statistics is unwise. Unless we go get tested together AND our communication is open, raw and honest… condoms it is. Besides would you not want to be safe also?”

This tells him, that although you desire him, you RESPECT YOURSELF more. If he really cares about you more than his own desires, he will respect your wishes to take care of yourself and value you for more than your vagina. Emphasize what he takes from you. Depending on the STD you risk your chance at a family. This is not saying you want to conceive a baby next week or in five years. Nor is it saying he would be the father of your children or you are expecting to have children with him. Never plan family fantasies in your head with a man until he has proven he is a great partner in a relationship and could be a good father. That takes time.

Or you might not want children but should not detour the want to keep your vagina healthy. Same line works. Get him to see you are the giver and nurturer of life. The power of a pussy is incredible.

If you both take tests and prove communication is trustworthy about your fluid swapping adventures, going condomless is definitely worth it.

Going the route of….. “Yes daddy. Whatever you say daddy.” Ms. Bend Over Wipe His Butt And Kiss It Also…. without asking questions at the expense of your happiness and health is not going likely to earn you respect. Maybe STD’s or a baby though. This is not Disney “we fall in love and everything perfect” and don’t ask questions.

Be a goddess. Be your own advocate. INSPIRE respect. Don’t think you automatically get respect. Unicorn thinking in the real world rarely produces great outcomes. 

Note: Men are also placing themselves at risk not using a condom. I am only highlighting women’s side in this blog. I try to avoid generalizations in my writing. Sometimes they are hard to eliminate completely without get “wordy.” 


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